How to Navigate Wedding Planning When You're Type A and Your Partner Is Type B (2024)

If you’re a Type A person who’s engaged to someone who’s more Type B, your partner’s laid-back nature is probably an attractive quality that initially drew you in. Once the two of you start planning the wedding, however, your contrasting personalities might clash. As a Type A person, you’re inherently driven, competitive, and highly organized, so mapping out the details behind your big day will probably come naturally to you. On the other hand, stepping up to the plate isn’t always second nature for Type B personality types—who are relaxed and easygoing and not as motivated to set goals or strive for achievement, according to licensed psychotherapist Kristin Anderson.

As a result, you might believe that your significant other is slacking off on their planning responsibilities. “When looking at a couple with personality differences, it’s a common dynamic that the Type A partner feels as if their partner is not pulling their weight, and the Type B partner feels that their partner is creating unnecessary stress for themselves and their relationship,” Anderson says. This assumption might lead to feelings of frustration and resentment and create a tense and divisive environment.

If you’re a Type A person who’s irritated that your Type B partner isn’t contributing as much as you are, you don’t have to white knuckle it. Luckily, there are steps you can take to resolve your differences and experience more ease and enjoyment throughout the process. We tapped the experts, who shared some of their most effective tips for navigating this dilemma.

Ahead, expert-approved tips for navigating wedding planning if you’re Type A and your partner is Type B.

Start With an Open Conversation

During the preliminary wedding planning stages, both Anderson and planner Susan Dunne of Weddings by Susan Dunne suggest having a conversation with your partner about the upcoming process, where you discuss your needs, expectations, preferences, concerns, and responsibilities. “This ensures that the wedding reflects the desires of both—even if one partner takes a more prominent role in planning,” Dunne notes. Once the two of you are on the same page, continue to communicate openly and honestly with one another as you plan to avoid misunderstandings that arise from your distinct personality types.

Hire a Wedding Planner

Any couple can benefit from hiring a wedding planner, especially those with personality differences. Not only do these industry experts oversee the process and assume the bulk of the work, which alleviates a lot of anxiety, but they also function as quasi-therapists. These professionals often help engaged pairs navigate difficult situations and relationship dynamics—including your own—that pop up before the wedding.

If you and your partner are unsure how to navigate wedding planning due to your diverging viewpoints, enlist a planner to guide you through the process and help you come up with solutions. When vetting your candidates, Dunne recommends finding a vendor who understands your dynamic, so your experience is more seamless and comfortable.

Use Your Organizational Skills

As a Type A person, you excel at detail-oriented tasks, which comes in handy when planning a wedding. Dunne advises taking the lead on creating schedules, making checklists, and managing the logistics behind your big day. “This helps ensure that everything stays on track,” she explains. Of course, you’ll want to talk to your partner to see if the arrangement works for them first.

Recognize Your Partner’s Strengths

Instead of spearheading the planning process solo, make sure your significant other is involved—based on a level that they’re comfortable with—so they feel seen and valued. “This way, both partners can contribute to the planning process and create a wedding that reflects their unique personalities and desires,” Dunne shares.

With a Type B personality, your partner is probably creative, adaptable, and relaxed, so Dunne says creating playlists and crafting signature co*cktails are usually tasks within their wheelhouse. However, rather than simply assigning them responsibilities without their consent, ask your partner how they’d like to help.

Explain Your Priorities

Since you both have contrasting personalities, you might also have different priorities for your big day. While the two of you discuss your vision, Anderson recommends explaining why certain aspects matter to you. For example, maybe you’re set on hiring a live band because you’ve always imagined a packed dance floor on your wedding night. Instead of making the final decision without consulting your significant other, share your perspective and unpack why it matters to you. “There are no right or wrong priorities, but helping your partner understand why is the best way to get them on board,” Anderson reveals.

Listen to Their Ideas

In addition to sharing your own unique ideas, make sure to ask your partner to contribute some of theirs. Since your significant other has a more go-with-the-flow mentality, they probably won’t have many strong opinions on the overall day. Regardless, encourage them to reflect on what truly matters to them.

If they do have some preferences, listen attentively and without judgment. Even if you don’t love the thought of having a food truck at the reception or watching a fireworks show at the end of the night, hear your significant other out before expressing your opinion. If you aren’t on board, explain your reasoning in a straightforward manner rather than critiquing your partner. It’s important to plan a wedding as a unit, and judging your significant other will only create a hostile environment for both parties.

Strive for Balance

At the end of the day, the goal is to achieve a united front and produce a wedding that reflects both of your wishes. It can be difficult to pull this off when you’re Type A and your partner is Type B, though. That’s why compromising will go a long way. “Seek a balance between the Type A’s desire for structure and the Type B’s desire for flexibility,” Dunne says. For instance, maybe you want to create a weekly schedule where the two of you plan for five hours every Sunday, but your partner wants to cross off tasks whenever he feels like it rather than follow a rigid schedule. In that case, maybe you decide to tackle your to-do list separately—and trust that your significant other will get everything done on their own time.