A bridal shower is a party thrown by friends to celebrate the upcoming marriage of a bride-to-be. It’s usually held about three months before the wedding day and can be hosted at any time after the engagement has been announced. The party usually takes place at someone’s home or at a restaurant, but it can also be held in public venues like museums or botanical gardens. Bridal showers are typically coordinated by one of the bride’s friends or family members, but anyone can throw one if they want!
We are going to show you how to host or plan a bridal shower from start to finish.
Here are some of the frequently asked questions (FAQ) that we will cover:
- How to figure out your bridal shower budget?
- Who hosts the bridal shower?
- Who should you invite to your bridal shower?
- When and where should you host the bridal shower?
- Who pays for the bridal shower?
- What are you doing at the bridal shower?
- Planning schedule and checklist for the party
- Ideas for a virtual bridal shower!
- And much more!
In This Article show
What is a bridal shower and where did the tradition come from?
A bridal shower is a great party for those closest to the bride-to-be, usually female friends and family.
The tradition of bridal showers, or “showers,” as they’re often called, began in the 16th century. At the time, showers were typically hosted by friends and family who wanted to help out with wedding expenses. The bride’s mother would often use the gifts from these parties to purchase household items such as linens or silverware for her daughter’s new home.
Modern bridal shower guests often bring home goods or hostess gifts for the newlyweds instead of buying something expensive for the couple themselves. This is because it’s considered bad luck if you spend more money on an engagement gift than what you spend on your wedding day! In some households, these traditions are followed strictly; in others, they’re looser guidelines members follow loosely according to their comfort level with them (or lack thereof).
Figure Out the Bridal Shower Budget
Just like anything else in the wedding planning world, deciding what you can afford and how much you want to spend should be at the top of the list. This will give you an idea of where to go with your party plans.
Traditionally, the host paid for the bridal shower, but in modern times anyone can pay for it. Many couples now pay for their own weddings, so getting help from the bride’s parents is not a problem at all. You can even talk to the other bridesmaids to see if they are willing to help with the costs.
The main thing to remember is that the bride will not be expecting anything too much. Don’t break the bank by planning a bigger party than you can afford. The bride-to-be will enjoy celebrating with family and friends, even if the gift-giving will be in the living room with homemade food (which, depending on her personality, she may even prefer).
What is the average cost of a bridal shower?
The average cost of a bridal shower depends on where you hold the event and what type of venue you use. If it’s held at a restaurant or hotel, it can be as low as $50 per person. In general, the average cost of a bridal shower in the US is around $1,00 per guest; this price may be higher depending on your location and preferred venue.
Here are a few estimates to get you started:
- For a simple party hosted in a home or backyard, plan on $15-$25 per person ($225-$375 for 15 guests).
- If hosting at a restaurant, you can plan on $20-$50 per person ($300-$750 for 15 guests).
- A bridal shower where a small venue space is needed will cost about $50-$150 per person ($750-$2250 for 15 guests)
- For bigger parties that require a larger venue, a spa visit, or an overnight stay, you can expect to pay $150 and up ($2250 and up for 15 guests)
Who Plans or Throws The Bridal Shower?
Anyone close to the bride can host the bridal shower, but it is usually the maid/matron of honor.
The bride’s mother or a close relative is usually involved in planning and throwing the bridal shower. Other family members, friends, and bridesmaids can help with things like cooking and decorating if you want/need the help.
Can the bride throw her own shower?
No, the bride should not throw herself a shower. However, if you are the one in charge of planning/hosting the bridal shower, we recommend that you talk to the bride before planning begins to see if there is anything specific she would like to have done.
Does the mother of the bride throw a shower?
Traditionally, the mother of the bride does not plan showers, but it is much more common now.
Honestly, anyone can give a bridal shower (parents, siblings, co-workers, bridal party, relatives, friends, etc. ……)
But if you ask what is most common, the bridesmaids usually host/plan the event.
Should you have more than one bridal shower?
This is very common. Many times, the bride’s co-workers will organize a second giveaway.
Another situation where a second wedding party may make sense is when the guest list ends up being too large.
You can have a shower for the bridal party and friends and a second shower for close family members (bridesmaids can plan both of these events)
Who Do You Invite To A Bridal Shower?
In most cases, the bride invites her bridesmaids, and the groom typically invites his groomsmen. If you’re planning a co-ed shower, then both sets of attendants will be invited. Parents and grandparents are also common invitees—they’re usually more than happy to attend a party that honors their child’s upcoming marriage! Close friends are another safe bet for an invitation list; they’ll likely be thrilled to celebrate your day with you. Friends from work or college can also make great guests at a bridal shower if you know them well enough to include them in such an intimate event (and even if they aren’t particularly close).
If you have any other relatives who live nearby—aunts, uncles, cousins—it might be nice to include them as well! Neighbors may seem like a strange choice for invitations but this depends entirely on how tight-knit your community is: if everyone knows each other’s business anyway then why not throw yourself into the mix?
Keep the guest list short if possible.
- The mother of the bride, sisters, grandmother, bridal party, aunts, first cousins.
- The mother of the bride’s partner, sister, grandmother, aunts and first cousins.
There is no need to invite extended family, friends, or coworkers to who you are not super close.
By keeping the guest list to friends and family who mean the most to the bride, it will be a much more intimate party.
Who should you not invite to the bridal shower?
- Avoid inviting people who are not close to the bride. If you don’t know her well, it might be best to leave them off the list.
- Avoid inviting people who are not close to the bride’s family. A good rule of thumb is that if they didn’t meet your future in-laws at some point during a Christmas or Thanksgiving gathering, then they probably shouldn’t be invited either!
- Avoid inviting people who are not close to the bride’s friends. If they don’t spend time with her regularly (and possibly even call themselves “friends”), then they probably won’t feel comfortable at this event and could even embarrass or upset your special day by making awkward comments or being unprepared for what happens next!
- Avoid inviting people who aren’t close to any of these groups (ie: distant relatives). Again, there may be some exceptions depending on what relationship she has with these individuals; but generally speaking, this would still be considered too far out there when thinking about bridal showers plans 😉
How many people should you invite to a bridal shower?
The typical shower is between 15-50 people.
Definitely ask the bride and the mother of the bride for a list of guests who are a must. Then go from there.
The number of guests you invite to a bridal shower depends on a few factors. The first is the size of your venue and how many people you want to invite. If you’re hosting your bridal shower at home, then it’s easy to have 15-20 guests over for food and games—but if it’s in a large hall, or if multiple showers are going on simultaneously, then you’d need more guests for each event in order not to overwhelm the space with too many visitors.
Secondly, consider how much money is available for this particular event. A larger number of people means more expenses (food costs go up when you’re buying more), but fewer expenses (you don’t need as many decorations). Your budget should determine not only how many people get invited but also what type of party theme will be chosen: if there’s enough money available then maybe someone else can organize something fancier than just plain old finger foods!
When should you send out bridal shower invitations?
- 6-8 weeks before the shower
This is usually when you’ll want to send out your invites. It should be enough time for people to plan their schedules around it and also enough time for them to buy a present (if they’re giving one).
Make sure all guests RSVP to only one person. If the maid of honor is hosting the shower, all RSVPs should go back to her. That way everything stays organized.
Who Pays For A Bridal Shower?
A bridal shower is a party thrown for the bride to celebrate her upcoming wedding. Traditionally, the maid of honor would pay for the entire event and hostess gift, but that’s not always the case anymore. Many brides are now asking their friends or family members to split costs evenly between everyone involved in planning or attending the party.
The best thing you can do if you’re hosting a bridal shower is to make sure everyone knows how much they need to contribute before they commit to attending. If your budget is tight, consider splitting costs with other members of your bridal party or even asking them to help plan it!
When To Have Your Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, bridal showers are held 1 to 3 months before the wedding day. With all of the other things you have to do during this time (like planning a wedding!), it can be difficult to find the time and money for shower planning. It’s also not always possible for everyone in your bridal party to get together at once so soon before your big day!
If you’re having trouble deciding when would be best for you, we recommend two months prior as a starting point. This gives those who live far away enough time to plan their travel arrangements and still lets everyone enjoy each other’s company before they start getting busy with other obligations leading up to the big day.
Where to Host or Have a Bridal Shower:
The first step in figuring out the location is sitting down with the bride and asking her if she already has a preferred location.
This could be her family home, the home or backyard of a family member, a local restaurant or park, a wedding venue, a college campus, or a community center.
There are so many options.
Ask the bride first. If she wants it to be a surprise, you could also ask the mother-of-the-bride.
What Do You Do At A Bridal Shower?
- Bring a gift. The bride and groom are often overwhelmed by the thought of hosting a shower, but do not stress too much! Your contribution will be most appreciated as it shows them your appreciation for all they have done for you.
- Eat cake! Bridal showers offer an opportunity to try out some new recipes, so if you are into baking, why not make one or two? You could also ask others to bring different kinds of cakes, which would make your party even more special.
- Play games. With bridal shower trivia questions and bridal shower bingo boards available online or at most party supply stores these days, there is no reason why this part can’t be fun for everyone involved!
- And drinks. Champagne, beer, and wine are the usual alcoholic beverages offered.
- and So on. It depends on the bridal shower theme.
What is the order of events at a bridal shower?
The typical shower lasts between 2 and 4 hours. Here is a sample timeline based on a 3-hour party.
- 12:00 pm– Guests arrive (play a quick icebreaker game)
- 12:30-1:30pm – Food is served
- 2 pm – Play the 2nd game as the bride-to-be starts opening gifts
- 2:30 pm – Play the 3rd game as the bride finishes opening gifts
- 3 pm – Shower ends
Should gifts be opened at a bridal shower (Is it rude to not open gifts in front of guests)?
Yes, we think that gifts should be opened at the bridal shower. The purpose of a bridal shower is to celebrate the bride-to-be and help her start her new life as a married woman. We believe that opening presents with friends and family present make this time all the more special for everyone involved.
We recommend playing a couple of fun bridal shower games while thebride is opening up her gifts. We also recommend having some music playing lightly in the background. These two things will make the long process of opening gifts less awkward.
A few games (including free printable) that we recommend are:
- He Said, She Said
- What’s in your Purse
- Would She Rather
- Bridal Bingo and Find the Guest Bingo
Bridal Shower Planning Checklist and Timeline
3-5 months before
- Talk with the bride and see if she has any opinions or must-haves for the bridal shower
- Find out who can help with the cost of the bridal shower (this will help you figure out the budget)
- Set a budget
- Choose a location
- Put the guest list together (gather contact info)
1-2 months before
- Make sure thegift registryis complete
- Make the schedule for the party (timeline)
- Create a to-do list (assign tasks to anyone who is helping)
- Hire vendors
- Order/rent items needed for the shower (chairs, decor, linens, etc…)
- Send out invitations (include information to the gift registry)
- Order flowers and signage
- Put together the menu
- Select games (and getprizes for game winner)
- Plan any DIY items
1-2 weeks before
- Create a fun playlist of music. Really put some thought into this. Put songs in there that are special to the bride. If the bride and her bridesmaids were big boy band fans, make sure some of those songs make it into the playlist.
- Confirm/finalize the attendees
- Finalize the decor and games (print anything that needs to be printed out)
- Make sure all details are finalized with your vendors.
- Make a day of to-do list for the bridal shower. This way nothing gets missed
- If serving alcohol, shop for these items
1 day before and day of the party
- Decorate the space
- Cook the food and clean the space.
- Ask anyone helping to arrive a little early
- run last-minute errands
Frequently Asked Questions
What Happens at Bridal Showers?
A bridal shower is a party held in honour of the bride-to-be before the wedding. This party takes place before the wedding. The traditional ceremony known as a bridal shower is to provide the bride-to-be with several presents, hence the name “shower.” When it comes to the event’s organisation, it is essential to be aware that there are no hard and fast rules to follow.
What is Etiquette For Bridal Showers?
Bridal shower etiquette suggests that the host provides guests food and drink as the occasion celebrates nature. Popular styles of food include sweets such as cupcakes, cake, biscuits, slices, scones, fruit, and pastries, as well as savoury horderves such as sandwiches, tarts, wraps, pies, quiches, and even salads and cold soups.
What is The Difference Between A Wedding Shower And A Bridal Shower?
The difference is pretty simple, where the bridal shower is designed for just you and the girls, the wedding shower is a co-ed party where the bride and groom both get showered with gifts and love. If you’re a bride who likes to party and celebrate, then a wedding shower and bridal shower!
Does The Groom Go To The Bridal Shower?
Usually, grooms don’t attend showers — can you imagine what it would be like if you had to attend the bachelor party? Traditionally, a “bridal” shower is for the bride and her close female relatives and friends (and often female relatives on the groom’s side, too).
What to wear?
If the bridal shower is taking place in a home or backyard, wear something nice, comfortable, and casual.
Try and stay away from wearing white since the bride will most likely be wearing something white. Let the bride be the star of the show.
Is the shower before or after the bachelorette party?
Both the bachelorette party and the bridal shower are typically about 2-3 months prior to the wedding day. The schedules of the bride, bridal party, and family will dictate when these events happen. It does not matter which happens first.
We recommend planning early (a couple of months prior to the parties).
Does the party have to follow a theme?
Showers do not have to follow a specific theme but having one will make the planning process a lot easier.
Simply having a theme based on color would make it easy (black and white, pink and white, blue and yellow, etc…).
If you are interested in exploring theme options, here are a few ideas to get you started:
- A garden tea party
- Paris theme (make sure you get a giant cookie like the one in Bridesmaids!)
- Color-themed (this one is easy to decorate)
- A favorite travel destination
- Boho
- Music
- Vintage
- Tropical
- Retro
- Pool party
- Rustic
You might find this article very helpful:
Conclusion
Now that you know the ins and outs of bridal showers, we hope that you are inspired to plan one! Whether it’s for a close friend or family member, have fun with it. Remember that this is a celebration of love and friendship, so whatever traditions you choose will be unique to your relationship with the bride-to-be. Our best advice: do what feels right for your group of friends/family members. Remember that these parties can be as silly or serious as you want them to be—and we wish you all the best on your special day!
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